Speaking of sexism…

Two items of note:

1. Flavorwire has released short bios of “33 Women Music Critics You Should Read.” I have no beef with the list (Ok, maybe there are two people whose work I don’t like), and the author shares my feeling that the very existence of such a list is a sign of gendered distress:

Ideally, you wouldn’t need a list like this, which might sound as patronizing as a “women in rock” magazine issue, but like most other professions, music journalism is still mostly a sausage fest. Think of about it. Who’s the most revered saint in the biz? Lester Bangs. Who are the elder statesmen? Greil Marcus, Robert Christgau, Richard Meltzer. The recent “voice of a generation”? Chuck Klosterman. Sure, we admire ‘em but do you notice a pattern here?

The next line is: “A sea change may be happening, though.” While I appreciate even meagre signs of progress should be cause for celebration, I can’t help but notice the huge majority of “Women…You Should Read” are cobbling together a living from freelance gigs and/or are working in the academy. That is, they’re NOT working as editors of major weekly/monthlies.

2. Here’s what passes for journalism over at Fox News:

Title of Entertainment News article: “Lindsay Lohan vs. Gravity: Is Actress Jeopardizing Comeback With Bra-Free Lifestyle?”


Lindsay Lohan may be making inroads to repair her broken brand, but even if she can stage a comeback with her upcoming Gotti movie project, more damage control could await the young starlet.

No stranger to self destruction, Lohan has unwittingly been doing a number on her breasts by consistently refusing to wear a bra, despite her ample assets, experts say. And her free and easy lifestyle could impact her career.

Bra experts we talked to estimate that Lohan has around a 34-D cup size, making her a prime candidate for a serious underwire bra. But as a way of garnering attention the hard-partying 24 year old actress consistently shows up on red carpets sans brassiere. Her most recent offense to her breasts, and the good citizens of downtown Los Angeles, was when she decided undergarments were optional during orientation for her court mandated community service at the Los Angeles Downtown Women’s Center.

Because feeding the homeless is really the time to make a fashion statement in a see-through top.

Lohan has even attended court proceedings, where she faced an angry judge and the real possibility of going to jail for an extended period of time, without any support.

With many court appearances, come many different outfits

Going commando might fly when you’re 18-years old but gravity is a vengeful mistress and soon enough Lindsay’s ladies will be sinking to the floor. Manhattan plastic surgeon Dr. Jennifer Walden says the damage to Lindsay’s breasts has likely already been done from her refusal to wear a bra.

“The effect on large breasts, whether or not they are augmented with implants, is tissue stretch,” Walden tells Fox411. “The distance between the nipple and the crease below the breast becomes longer and stretched looking rather unnatural.”

Walden says Lohan will likely be a candidate for a breast lift in the near future. Neglecting her body in her early twenties just means that Lindsay will need to go under the knife to fix the damage before her 30th birthday.

“I don’t care how perky they are, they won’t be for long,” says bra-fitting expert and owner of Linda’s Bra Salon in New York City Linda Becker. “They all get saggy when the tissues under the breasts break and Lindsay is going to end up looking like a WaTuTu warrior.”

Because Lindsay has a larger than average bosom, Becker recommends visiting the actress visit a professional bra fitter. “Maybe she doesn’t wear a bra because she’s uncomfortable,” Becker speculates. “She just needs the right size with an underwire.”

Lohan’s predicament could have serious repercussions on her career. In 2008 she famously posed nude in a series of photos for New York magazine where the famed photographer Burt Fields posed Lohan in shots reminiscent of Marilyn Monroe’s last sitting. The most recent movie project she was contracted for (and subsequently dropped from) was the biopic of porn star Linda Lovelace.

And as Lohan waits for her movie career to reignite, one of her main sources of income has been posing in various states of undress for magazine after magazine.

“Most of the projects Lindsay is going to get going forward will probably involve some nudity, that’s just where she is at right now in her career,” a Hollywood casting agent explained to Fox411. “If she keeps doing damage to her body even those roles are going to dry up.”

I thought about it, and I don’t think this trash deserves a response.



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3 responses to “Speaking of sexism…

  1. It’s easy for you to be blase about Lohan’s wardrobe choices. I on the other hand live and work on the westside. Around here we live in terror. Most sensible people particularly stay clear of Robertson between Sunset and Pico between the hours of 9pm and 3am for fear of encountering these floppy menaces.

  2. Jenn Lena

    Is it 1923 over on the westside? To wit: “Her most recent offense to her breasts, and the good citizens of downtown Los Angeles”. Srrsly? If her breasts really had the power of cognition and offense, do you really think they’d be angry at Lindsay?

  3. Jenn Lena

    Here’s another funny response to the Lohan story (in addition to Gabriel’s), from a friend on FB: “My favorite comment: “The distance between the nipple and the crease below the breast becomes longer and stretched looking rather unnatural.” Nature abhors…um… nature taking its… uh… well natural course, I guess. Nature is hard to figure out. Plastic surgeons must be really smart.”

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