Things I no longer do for my friends

and haven’t, since I turned 30.

1. Help them move.

2. Go to their improv comedy shows.

3. Buy them shots.

4. Listen for very long, if the topic of conversation is their relationship with their parents.*

5. Visit their parents’ houses.

6. Let them borrow money.

7. Live with them.

What have I forgotten?

* The exception here are the rising number of conversations I’m having about dying or sick parents, and the financial and practical issues involved. But these conversations are qualitatively different than the “my father doesn’t understand what I do for a living and it makes me feel he doesn’t love me” conversations that dominated my life in my 20s.

 

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6 Comments

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6 responses to “Things I no longer do for my friends

  1. Listen for very long, if the topic of conversation is their relationship with their parents.

    Um.

  2. martin

    8. Talk extensively about problems concerning relationships with (unavailable/unsatisfactory/recent ex-) life partners and how to deal with them.
    9. giving them a lift on the back of a bike or suggest they crash in the guest room (allthough they’re still welcome)
    10. Dream out loud together about all great things we’re going to do in the future. Now seems to be all we have.

    How do you review the status of your list? As some policy finally implemented, habits slowly but unintentionally having crept into life, things that simply do not occur that often anymore?

    • Jenn Lena

      I think #8 might be gendered. We’re still doing that one at Casa Lena.
      I’m pretty sure my list was in “to-do” or “resolution” form by my mid-20s, now they’re just institutionalized non-practices.

  3. bunk with them 4-up to a hotel room?

  4. bork

    I’m in my 30s. Some of my friends have real jobs. They don’t get my moving help. Some of my friends are underemployed or still in grad school. I’m still on their beer-n-pizza weekend moving crews.

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