fuck you, 2010. seriously. fuck you.

The Worst Year, The Best Mixtape.

In 2010, I said goodbye to my grandfather, Pete Peterson and Andrew Carroll, plus two unnamed fertilized eggs, future children of a friend and a few others. In four months, I went to six funerals. My mother left her job, and my father had his hardest year in his career. A friend fought and beat cancer. I started and finished a book, and have been beating the pavement, looking for my next job. I have never had a harder year, filled with more despair and sadness.

There have been some bright spots: friend Tammy got the job she wanted and is happy; PL’s baby arrived and is healthy; Katherine’s got another in the oven and has made it to the second trimester; and I started and finished that book. Jaime and Emilio had another birthday, and so did Hammer and Gordon. They are all learning to walk and talk and be gentlemen. I took a wonderful but brief vacation to Mexico in a moment of psychic desperation, and a longer sojourn for work in Italy and New York. And who can forget Atlanta in August? I had simple pleasures–especially the love and care of friends and family–and my creature comforts (although I am leaving my job, I thankfully have had one, and so have had a roof over my head, etc.). I am thankful for all of this.

I hope I never have another year like 2010.* I hope none of you ever have to have one. I’m amazed I made it through, and I think my fortitude has earned the respect of those who know and love me. What do I give back? Hope for the future, and a mixtape.

I haven’t formatted it to fit on a CD because almost none of my friends use them anymore. If you do, I’d recommend you cut the first CD with tracks 1-10. These songs represent the hardships of the year–the loneliness of despair, the false smile you wear when times are tough, the searing sharp pain of loss after loss after loss. Tracks 11-24 represent the bright glimmer of hope–the humor, and insanity, we bring to our New Year’s Resolutions. The expectation that next year we can shimmy and shake, dance and laugh, fall in love, do what we want and take a little chance. Track 25 is my coda: a goodbye letter to Nashville and 2010. I hope I never see either of them again.

Sorry you have to download them one at a time, but this will take you a fraction of the time it took me to work all this out. There’s a PDF tracklisting but here’s what you’ll get:

Dec 31, 2010

1.     Nobody Knows You When You’re Down and Out – Nina Simone

2.     You’re Always on My Mind- Johnnie Morisette

3.     You’re a Lonely Girl- The Grass Roots

4.     Pretend – Carl Mann

5.     Fuck You – Cee Lo Green

6.     Nothin’ Shakin’ – Linda Gail Lewis

7.     Slap That Bass – Ella Fitzgerald

8.     Hang With Me (Acoustic) – Robyn

9.     Soul Sauce (Guachi Guaro) – Cal Tjader

10. Manteca – Dizzy Gillespie

11. Interlude – Cypress Hill

12. Do What You Wanna – Ramsey Lewis

13. Everlasting Love – Barbara Pittman

14. Take A  Little Chance – Jimmy De Berry

15. Red Hot –Billy Emerson

16. Feelin’ Good – Little Junior’s Blue Flames

17. Somebody Told Me – Little Milton

18. Devil in a New Dress – Kanye West

19. Fout La Merde (ft. Thomas Bangalter) – 113

20. Come Around (Live on Rap City) – Lil Wayne

21. Comfortable (feat. Babyface) – Lil Wayne

22. They Want EFX – Das EFX

23. La Di Da Di (Live) – Slick Rick & Doug E. Fresh

24. Que Lio Remix – G-Bo The Pro & Hector Lavoe

25. Don’t Think Twice, It’s All Right – Bob Dylan


*Ugh. Sadly, Jan 1, 2011 brought news that a loved one has cancer. I’m back to my jokes about being the Angel of Death.



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11 responses to “fuck you, 2010. seriously. fuck you.

  1. It’s a special kind of person that ends a year like this with giving a lovely gift like this. Thank you. Welcome, 2011!

  2. Thank you for including my Que Lio remix on your send-off to 2010 mixtape. I suppose the message is that every year has its ups & downs like life itself. It’s the journey not the destination that makes us who we are. What would life be if it were all good? We need the shitty stuff to balance out the journey. I wish everyone a joyous & prosperous 2011 – enjoy the ride.

  3. martin

    dear whatisthewhat – you don’t sound like the kind of person to have many repetitive years in your life. So it certainly can’t get any worse in 2011 can it? Not sure this is of any help, but I count meeting you as one of the brighter spots of the year.

  4. Jenn Lena

    @Martin: Awww. I should have put you as a “bright spot” on my list. Happy new year!

  5. tim

    seriously? try being a solder or a hard working man during the depression. You are just a whiny little bastard who does not know what hard is. Turn the blog off idiot and actually try going out and being a man.

  6. Jenn Lena

    Interesting advice. Shall I sew on a penis, or start hormone therapy, do you think?

  7. Jenn Lena

    By the way, interested readers can reach Tim at tim148bsa@yahoo.com.

  8. Yeah screw you, Jenn! You try being a solder—fucking sittin’ there all day, just a blob of metal alloy with a relatively low melting point joining two pieces of wire together, or sometimes a piece of wire to a circuit board, or maybe a bit of pipe to another bit of pipe under the sink or behind the cupboard in the bathroom or whatnot. That is some hard shit and you get no respect from anyone neither, on account of being just a blob of metal as what I mentioned earlier.

  9. bwipe

    Actually, you are supposed to solder the penis on, not sew. In that fashion, you will learn a bit more about what “hard” is. (Hormones are also a help.) Daayymm Tim, it is hard out there for a pimp, ain’t it? I hear you my brother? Can we have Pyra Lynne’s email as well?

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