Visual bablefish

What you’re about to see is a music video that promotes the Norwegian television entertainment program “Golden Times”. The program runs on the TV channel, TV2 in Norway. [That according to the youtube video description.] The video features (an abbreviated list): Roger Moore, Huey Lewis, Jason Alexander. Ricki Lake, Josie Biesett, Alberto Tomba, George Wendt, Philip Michael Thomas, Glenn Close, Pamela Anderson (sort of…), Leslie Nielsen, Dolph Lundgren, Kelly McGillis, Sherilyn Fenn, Daryl Hannah, and Lou Ferrigno, the “Hulken.”

It’s hard to know where to start. First, I suspect half of these folks were looking for a paycheck to cover prescription drug medication.

Second, I find it totally inconceivable that Ricki Lake and George Wendt have professional pipes. I mean, if Philip Michael Thomas has this terrific voice, where’s his album? At least he could milk it for a cruise ship tour. Same deal with Carlton from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and Malcolm Jamar Warner. If everybody is such a good fucking singer, how come it took until 2009 for Glee! to get green-lighted?

I have a serious question for Tanya Harding: were you invisible? Because your shirt asks me if I can see you, and I’m pretty sure that’s a matter of optical physics and not something over which I have any discretion. If it was, we wouldn’t be having this conversation because I would have been able to remain unreminded of your existence.

Glenn Close better have gotten a pay bump for having to appear immediately before David Faustino (“Bud Bundy”), who appears to be indicting the audience. His wagging, accusatory finger doesn’t exactly convey “let it be.”

Judd Nelson’s facial hair scares me. He reminds me of the guy who runs the rotisserie station at the local Harris Teeter. The same guy with the personal ad that says, “I love chicken during the day, fish all night long.”

Peter Falk’s really the only guy who earns my respect, because he obviously stole his sweater from Bill Cosby, showed up to the shoot drunk, and couldn’t bring himself to sing. Bravo, maestro!

Okay, and in the all stars round:

People I least expected to see:

Robert Englund, who played the original Freddy Kruger; Fab, from Milli Vanilli; Right Said Fred; Rednex, of “Cotton Eye Joe”; and Michael Humphreys–who is he? Something from Forrest Gump? The kid version of Gump, I suppose?

So, wrapping things up, here’s the big question: WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? What does “Let It Be”, lyrically or culturally, have to do with this TV show, and what does it have to do with these celebrities? I always interpreted that song to suggest that we shouldn’t get too frustrated or depressed when times are hard, because god always opens a window, etc. etc. Is that window actually my television?

Thanks PL.

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Visual bablefish

  1. As the site I picked it up from put it, it’s the best video since America We Stand As One, and seems actually to have been filmed in the same location…

    This is why I love the internets.

  2. Gumbo Limbo

    The only one really singing was that dude from Milli Vanilli.

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