Andrew Cohen is sad he didn’t get to marry the girl of his dreams. I know how he feels. Right up until I start dating someone new I also wish I was still dating my previous boyfriend. Except for all the reasons I don’t…
Anyway, Andrew Cohen made the mistake of describing his sadness in an article entitled, On Her Wedding Day, Saying the Things Left Unsaid. The reasons this was a mistake are two (or one, depending on POV): (1) he sounds like every Crap Email from a Dude posted on Jezebel (here’s one in case you missed the series), and (2) Lizzie Skurnick took notice and wrote a take down. Her central complaint is that Mr. Cohen’s “heartfelt tribute” suffers from a common ailment in such post-breakup, heterosexual male pleas: they have nothing at all to do with the woman involved. As she writes:
It’s already annoying that someone who reserved the right to be numbingly uncommunicative during the relationship is now such a freakin’ Chatty Cathy. But once you realize all this impressive agony you’ve left behind (scorched earth, my friend! Barren promontories!) doesn’t actually have anything to do with you, it makes it hard to hand over your hanky — especially when you’re trying to hold on to your bouquet.
I tend to blame the Oprah-fied, Eat Pray Love slash Yoga Love ethos around relationships these days–the idea that we should be fully forthright and honest with one another (bullocks, in my opinion–there’s a time and place for honesty, and it isn’t with estranged former lovers). I don’t know who you blame, but Mr. Cohen is an option.