Crocodile tears

You wouldn’t believe some of the outlandish and totally inappropriate things my drunkenness has caused me to do. Dark, crazy stuff. But guess what? I didn’t write Falconer, so I’m a disgrace to everyone who loves me. It’s discriminatory. Cheever abandons his wife and children for months at a time to drink himself near to death, and he’s discussed joyfully in college lit courses. I do the same exact thing, and I’m denied visitation rights. Well excuse me for not examining the duality of human nature in just a few short pages of effortless prose.

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